Today’s reflection comes to us from Tayven Jyvon Davis.
Without body image I wouldn’t be who I am. I’ve always striven to be strong and fast inside and out. Yeah, it feels good to know you are these things, but to look like you can beat a cheetah or lift a elephant is a better feeling. Growing up I’ve always had a muscular athletic build, but it wasn’t there yet for me. I began reading and learning new things and watching my body change and enjoyed it. As I learned and changed, the more I was asked by others for advice and assistance for reaching their goals. Thus people saw my passion and aspired to do the same, but there was still something missing.
Being transgender, it is difficult to get past what you see and what’s actually there. My body image has always been to be that guy that looks good clothed and naked. I have to constantly remind myself that the male physiques I aspire to have will take time, but for someone that has always dreamed of that body, it feels like forever. When I see other transmen with bodies that I admire, I continue to work and know one day I will achieve my goals. My body image is pretty set now–it’s finding the patience and getting proper guidance from people who understand and I can relate to.
In the gym it is difficult to ask for advice on problem areas of a transgender person without outing yourself if your past is not known. For me I see guys that I could learn from, but the possibility of explaining or being found out is nerve wracking. I feel more comfortable talking to someone that knows the road I’m traveling. Also there is the feeling of being a man and 28 years old, there are things I should already know weight lifting and gym wise. Asking is gonna open the flood gates, and that is why I shy away from certain exercises which could be beneficial, but I am not sure about proper form. Some tell me it’s my male ego and I do believe that, plus fear, are the reason.
I believe the more people are educated about the life of a transgender individual, the fear and anxiety of being different in many ways and situations will slowly fade away.
– Tayven Jyvon Davis