Love Ourselves, Love Our Bodies: Yeshua A. Holiday

We’re honored to present today’s story by minister Yeshua A. Holiday.


Hello, I’m Yeshua A. Holiday and I’m honored to be asked to write this piece for you guys. A little about me: I’m a minister and the National Liaison for the TransSaints Ministry of the Fellowship of Affirming Ministries. I’m in the process of forming a new ministry, here in Memphis, that will be focused on trans people and their walk with the Creator. I’m a proud Leatherman. I am a Board member of the Yvette A. Flunder Foundation and Tennessee Equality Project. I’m co-founder of the very first conference for African American/Black trans people-Transsistahs-Transbrothas Conference.

I knew from a young age that I was different from other guys and girls. I was told that I was a girl, but I knew I was a boy, but didn’t have certain parts that other boys had. I remember being told by one of the other boys that maybe those parts would grow in later (kids say the darndest things lol). As a teenager I lived on the edge, at times thinking of suicide because my life felt unbearable in so many different areas. As a young adult, I turned to drugs because I couldn’t figure out how to properly let out who I was and how I was feeling on the inside. I remember seeing this talk show in the early 80’s where a transman was being interviewed. He seemed so depressed and though I recognized myself, fully, for the first time, I allowed his negativity to stop my thoughts about ever transitioning. Instead, turning to mind altering ways of coping with what I thought I could do nothing about and living life as best I could. Though I managed to get myself in good space and place in life, I never felt totally complete. It wasn’t until one young lady, I was dating, affirmed me as a man and told me where to go to begin my process that I began to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Today, though I have only had a hysterectomy, I am very happy with who I am and how I look. I am not interested in bottom surgery and top surgery is not something I really need to focus on. I can now celebrate my life as a young lady, though I will NEVER be comfortable or happy being referred to as one. I am a MAN, ftm, even a man with a feminine spirit, but a man nonetheless.

-Yeshua A. Holiday

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