Love Ourselves, Love Our Bodies: L. Tahj Carter

Today’s thoughts on body image and the self come to us from L. Tahj Carter.

As a child my body belonged to the person who protected it. She taught me how to treat it. To preserve it. She taught me everything about my body as if it was her own. She gave birth to my body who was identical to hers. She owned it.

My body grew up, and the reflection that my body saw was a empty shell. A nasty distaste. Who is this person looking back at me? The mind controls the body. I put poison into my mind, and through my mouth poison consumed me. I gained one hundred pounds of stress in this shell I call body. Trying to treat it the way she instilled in my mind. Did she control my mind? She controlled my thoughts. My movements. My mind. I am at 245 lbs. The doctor is writing Massive obese on my chart. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I can’t hide.

The moment I broke my chain, I controlled my mind. The eyes in the mirror belong to the boy in the shell. He no longer needed to consume massive amounts of food, alcohol, cigarettes. He no longer pretended to see the reflection of the person he dreamed he would grow up to be. He no longer pretended that he was not he and he was just she. He was no longer afraid.

I cut my cord and I began to have a new taste–for life. Cleansed the mind, cleansed the body, cleansed the spirit. My body shed many of the demons I packed on it. I am currently 168 lbs.

Many people say that the heart is the strongest thing in the body, but I beg to differ. The heart can always be restarted. It can sometimes be substituted. You can NEVER substitute your mind, it can never be restarted. I am still practicing every day to stay free and keep my mind clear and open. But I am not longer denying it to do exactly that.

– L. Tahj Carter

“Free your mind and the rest will follow” – D.l Foster and T. McElroy


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